SEATTLE. WA ----- Starbuck's CEO Howard Schultz has announced today that employees of the coffee franchise are encourage to bitch slap obnoxious customers who order overly exotic coffee drinks.
The decision came after an incident at a Starbuck's in Rancho Cucamonga, CA where a woman attempted to order an Iced, Half Caff, Ristretto, Venti, 4-Pump, Sugar Free, Cinnamon, Dolce Soy Skinny Latte with a twist of organically grown, gluten free, non-GMO lemon.
Amanda Banger (pictured above), is the barista who was at the counter and refused to take the order. She complained that she is "sick and tired of these snobby, hybrid driving asshats with fake boobs and freakish looking plastic surgery gone wrong faces ordering bullshit coffees!"
The obnoxious snob was then flogged by other patrons along with a few employees. The new bitch slap rule will take effect immediately.