Washington DC -- In keeping true to his campaign promises, President Trump overturned the IBJJF ban on heel hooks for lower belts and kids' divisions. Trump ran his campaign on the platform that heel hooks and other leg locks were used in traditional Jiu Jitsu and Judo back in the day. "You have these Brazilians, these Gracie guys that are mad because some guy from the suburbs of Rio had a collection of Gracie team member legs over his mantle. You know guys, that's in the past, you have made jiu jitsu boring" shouted Trump. "Let's make Jiu Jitsu great again!" he exclaimed at a press briefing.
Trump also placed a temporary ban on athletes coming from Brazil. "We want to vet these new guys. We need to test their game on the mat before we let them in. America has a new style of jiu jitsu and we don't want butt scooters and guard pullers here. We want to see flying armbars, donkey guard, busted knees and gogo clinches up in here!" Trump continued, "We can if we want you know, build a wall around Brazil to keep them out."
IBJJF President and Founder, Carlos Gracie, Jr rebutted Trumps decision stating "I don't know what he want that guy. Somebody gonna get hurt doing that one (heel hook) from white beltch, No hespect!".
Protests and destruction have already started outside of the White House and also in Rio, Brazil. "The people have had enough" said one protester in DC. "This is the last straw and we think Trump is a mean, meany man. Wait, what are we protesting?"
John Danaher, founder of the so called Danaher Death Squad and heel hook expert applauded Trump's decision with a post on his facebook page.
Eddie Bravo, founder of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu also weighed in muttering something about "Tower 7" and "Chem trails". We don't know exactly what he meant by that?????
The IBJJF plans to overturn the overturned ban and will disqualify athletes who "even look at the heel and make an evil grin" one IBJJF referee pointed out.
Check back for updates on this very controversial story.