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Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato

Starbuck's CEO Allows Employees To Bitch Slap Obnoxious Patrons

SEATTLE. WA ----- Starbuck's CEO Howard Schultz has announced today that employees of the coffee franchise are encourage to bitch slap obnoxious customers who order overly exotic coffee drinks.

The decision came after an incident at a Starbuck's in Rancho Cucamonga, CA where a woman attempted to order an Iced, Half Caff, Ristretto, Venti, 4-Pump, Sugar Free, Cinnamon, Dolce Soy Skinny Latte with a twist of organically grown, gluten free, non-GMO lemon.

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